Beast Wars - The Search for More Lip Balm
by SBert21
Summary: What must SBert do when her lip balm falls into the hands of a Predicon and now she must replace it. What will the Beast Warriors do when taken into a grocery store.


09-09-2008

 **The Search for More Lip Balm**

 _Alright HASBRO owns the Beast Warriors. Andrea owns herself and acknowledges that she is my friend and that I am nuts. Last, but not least (because it is mine), I own myself, any mention of a shovel handle, I will also claim The Hoary (Even though it isn't mine), the animals (even though they are also not all mine), my Pikachu clock (Do NOT Touch), and of course my lip balm. BWHAHAHA HAAA HAAA HAAA! "My Precious!" Heeee heeee heeee!_

 _No, it's definitely not in there. Where could it be? I always put it right here when I don't have pants pockets! Uuuuhhhh! Where is that lip balm of mine!?_

Stomping out of my bedroom, fumes coming out of my ears. "WHO TOOK MY LIP BALM!?" Sitting in a circle on the living room floor, Rattrap, Cheetor, Rampage, Depth Charge, and Waspinator all were playing a nice game of Monopoly.

(Actual Fact: They were all cheating, Rattrap was the banker and he was ripping everyone off. Questioning him about it and he would just say though "Dat is how all bakers do it!" Rampage and Depth Charge were doing battle with the mover tokens. Rampage would also, once in a while, grab up a few houses and hotels and eat them. Then he would squeal happily "You failed to protect them! Haaaaaaaa haaaaaaa haaaaaaa!" Of course, in the end Depth Charge and Rampage were rolling around and wrestling on the floor. Cheetor, in the middle of all the commotion, had moved his piece forward a little bit to the free parking spot. Waspinator merely entertained himself by peeking at all the "Chance" and "Community Chest" card.)

Stopping long enough to give me a glance, they all went quiet, I was mad and not joking. I gave them all an evil glare and forming my mouth into an "O" as I repeated myself. "Who took MY lip balm?" Looking back and forth at each other, they shrugged. Closing my eyes I started Counting in my head.

 _One…someone…two…took…three…my…four...lip…five…balm…six…and I'm going to figure out who!_

Reopening my eyes, I gazed back at the bots. The few Beast Warriors in front of my gave me a look of scared confusion. Knowing that if I did figure out one of them took it, I would try very hard to repay them. Walking around them, I stared at each in turn. Cringing under my stare, I then saw what I was looking for.

"Rampage."

Darting his eyes around nervously. "What?"

Asking him in one of the most dangerous voices I could muster. "Why did you eat my lip balm?"

Getting a sound of confidence in his voice, He replied. ( _Ooo, bad_ choice _!)_ "Who says that I ate your lip balm, Ms. SBert?" He straightened himself up, even taller to a whopping 5' 5". Countering his move, I straightened myself up to my tallest height (5' 6") and pointed at his face. "There is the evidence!" On his face was a large smear that made his metal plating shine. "I would know a lip balm smear anywhere!"

Giving me a guilty look, he said. "You should really label that stuff in your room. Then maybe I won't be in such a curious mood to open things." He laughed evilly and snorted.

Closing my eyes once again, I could feel the anger slowly building up inside of me. Opening my eyes, I gave him a deep frown. "You…got…into…my…room?"

Rattrap, Cheetor, Depth Charge, and Waspinator all left by edging out of the room slowly. They knew from experience, that when you hear your babysitter speaking in a dangerous, slow voice at someone, then you had better get out of there before the accused finds some way to pull you in.

I was just about to say something more, when I hear the front door open again. This time though it wasn't a Transformer, it was my friend Andrea Jones, holding a trash bag full of stuff. (Now I will tell you a bit about her. She is the only person I could think of without getting freak out or something, that would possibly help me out with this unruly bunch of kids and keep her mind intact. She comes from a large family of six brothers and five sisters. Oh, I guess I should also mention that she is the second oldest of this lot. I guess that's one reason why we get along so well. You see I also come from a big family, one brother and four sisters and I am also the second oldest. She is about 5' 3" and as skinny as a twig. She has long, brown, straight hair that she leaves loose. This day, she was wearing an old softball uniform shirt of hers. It was light blue with a big "0" on it. With it, she also wore a pair of blue jean shorts and a pair of blue tennis shoes. Now you might think that her favorite color must be blue. No, that is my favorite color, hers is purple.)

While I was staring at her, Rampage thought that this was probably his chance to get away. Slowly edging out of the room, he intended to go through the back sliding door. However, big, metal robotic crabs aren't the fastest and quietest in the world. Especially when there's Monopoly pieces on the floor and you step on them. So I caught him when he was almost to the fridge. "You will not escape! Get back in here and sit down!" Seeing that he had been caught, he headed back to where he originally was standing. Mumbling the whole way, I think it had something to do with how he was going to hurt Depth Charge for knocking the playing tokens on the floor.

Ignoring him, I went back to what Andrea was doing. "Hey AnJ! What's up today?" Smiling, she handed the big bag over to me. "Why don't you take a look for yourself?" Reaching over, I touched it like it was contaminated. "It's not like a whole bunch of dirty clothes or something is it?" Laughing she shook her head. "No that was in your mailbox."

"All of it?" Could you not see the mailbox? Who would send so many letters? Maybe the guys have a bunch of girlfriends that we don't know about? Or maybe…"

"Or maybe it's all from Hasbro and maybe they have you a really weird mailbox, that can hold all these letters and not get buried in them. Also maybe it likes to try and eat your hand off while you are trying to get the letters out."

Hearing that bit of news, my eyes got wide. Looking at the bag, I turned it over and dumped out a mountain of letters and packages. (I'll call it Mount Muddle) Mount Muddle must have had at least a good four-foot base and was at least 3 feet high. "Are we supposed to read all of these?"

Andrea shrugged. "I guess so. Maybe one of them has an instruction book on how to deal with them."

Rolling my eyes, I did a mechanical laugh. "I hope so." Reaching down, I picked up a handful of letters. "Well, would you like to help me go through these or would you like to see what everybody is doing?"

Mimicking my laugh, she answered. "Are you joking? I'm going to help you." Sitting down on the floor, we started "The Assortment of Cluttered Refused" through the middle of "Mount Muddle". Putting my hand into the middle of it, I pulled out a group of letters and proceeded to open them one by one. I was busy and scared reading the letters that I didn't hear all the explosions going off in the front yard.

Dear Ms. Brittany (SBert) McGatha,

We (Hasbro) are so very pleased, that you agreed to help us. We have had a hard time in the past, finding someone who would be so gracious enough to help guide and train the Beast Warriors through the summer.

Hasbro will pay for anything that is needed for them and (or) the damages that they inflict upon their stay.

We thank you once again for your cooperation and help.

Sincerely

HASBRO

P.S. We hope that the equipment, that we have sent you, will be of some help.

 _Equipment? Cool! I get to have some sort of weird, mind numbing gadgets. AWESOME!_

"Why would they send you some of this?"

I looked up to see what it was that Andrea was asking about. She seemed to be holding a package of white paper. I looked at her oddly and asked "What is it?"

Gazing up at me, she handed me a piece of the paper. "It's Shrinky Dink paper."

Lifting my eyebrows slightly. "I wonder why they would send us some of that? Does it come with instructions?"

Riffling through and underneath the contents of the box, Andrea's hand emerged with a plain, white piece of folded paper. Opening it she read aloud. "This is a special form of paper. Cook it to an object and that object will become the device that you can then use to shrink things."

"Oooohhhh! Shrink ray! We could use one of those! You've messed with Shrinky Dink paper before, so would you like to make it, AnJ?"

Shrugging her shoulders. "Sure, I'll do it, but I want to see what is in this entire pile first. I'll mess with it tonight at my house."

We had such a great time looking at everything that I totally forgot about killing Rampage. So, he got away from his cruel fate. _(That is for now.)_ HASBRO meant what they said about sending me some "equipment", it was mostly a bunch of gadgets that looked like normal everyday items, but they weren't. Besides the Shrinky Dink paper we also found a nice collection of cute, fuzzy toys. (Obviously for throwing and hitting the Beast Wars characters with, but soon we figured out that we should only use them on special occasions, because Tarantulas went into convulsions right after we used them. (It's weird how things like that will happen at the darndest times.) Digging around, we also found two pairs of sunglasses, a toilet plunger, a weird chunk of glass, ?, a nice rubber handle ( _I think I will put that on my shovel stick._ ), a pack of old campaigning cassette tapes ( _Shudder_ ), and pretty much anything else that you can think of.

The rest of the day that followed happened to be a very normal day. Sure, we had to pull a dog away from Rampage and Tarantulas. Rattrap and Dinobot blew up the front yard trees. Waspinator figured out where the hose turned on, so we had to save him from Inferno and Cheetor. Yup, we had a nice, uneventful day and tomorrow looked to be another "Uneventful day" also.

Doing my usual routine in the morning, I went to put lip balm on, only to remember that Rampage had eaten it. _That Rampage! I will teach him not to eat my things. I'm going to need a new one, so I had better get up and ready to go, before the guys decide that it's time for a battle training or something._

"Thought breaking" knocks came from the door, before I could put action into my words though. I moving sluggishly towards the door, I opened it. Standing there, with several transformers around her, was Andrea. They were all poking at the bag she carried and whining.

"Ah, come on and let us see!"

"Is dere some cheese in dat big knapsack of yours?"

"What's in there? Is it for me?"

"Ooo, can Wazzpinator have a look in ZzBert'zz friendzz bag?"

"Yesss, may we all have a look?"

During the entire time, they were poking and prodding, Andrea was trying to keep the bag away from their metallic paws.

"No, you can't see! Leave it alone." Seeing the door was open, she leaped in and bolted it behind her. Looking her over, before I started laughing, I saw she was slightly rumpled. It was pretty obvious, that she had been trying to get to the door for a few moments. The curiosity of our tenants seemed to have ruffled her a but before she got to her destination. Giving me an annoyed look, I stopped laughing. Glancing at my little Pikachu clock, I saw that it said it was 9:00, she usually waits until 10:00 to 10:30.

"Well, I'm glad that you're up now. It's kind of hard to keep them away from a mysterious bad, that they are not allowed to touch."

I smiled at her and offered her a seat on the bed. "So, what's so mysterious in the bag? Or am I not allowed to see it either?"

She sat down acrossed from me and opened the bag up. "I just didn't want them to see it before I could show you." Reaching inside the bag, she pulled out a normal looking TV remote. "Here look at this. I hope it works out alright."

Handing it to me, I looked it over. "Is it like a universal remote or something?" I handing it back to her, she smiled and grabbed it.

"This is one of are old remotes that we don't use anymore. So last night I wrapped it in the Shrinky Dink paper and heated it up, until it melted onto it. I then put some batteries in it and walllllah, it is now a remote that can shrink stuff."

I started bouncing on my place on the bed. "You mean it actually worked? Did you test it? Does it only shrink or will it do other stuff too?"

She put her hand on my shoulder to stop me from bouncing her off the bed. "Yes, I tested it out. I shrunk down a pencil and then made it grow back, but do you want to know the really weird part is?"

I did a little moan. "Don't tell me that you got caught?"

She shook her head. "No, I didn't get caught. I made sure to hide in the bathroom and lock the door. But what was really weird was when I was trying to put batteries in it, there was a chunk missing from inside of it. So, the batteries wouldn't stay in for anything. I then went poking around in some of the stuff that HASBRO gave us yesterday and I found that chunk of glass. Remember it?"

"Ya, I remember it. I'm guessing that it working if you were able to shrink a pencil with that in it."

"Ya, it worked! But on my way here I accidently tripped and a beam came out and hit a frog."

"What? You mean that you made a midget frog? Boy, that frog isn't having a good time, is it? It's already a small weenie thing and then you made it even smaller and weenier.

Andrea just sat there, shaking her head the whole time I was talking. "No, it didn't shrink, but Lauren came out of the house and guess what happened."

"She asked you, 'what on earth are you doing on your stomach in the middle of the yard, with a remote and a frog.'"

"No! She thought that the frog was a little kid or something. When I left, she was trying to get it to tell her his name and if he was lost."

My eyes almost expanded past the edge of my glasses. "You mean it made Lauren think that it was a little kid?"

She nodded her head. "Yup!"

"Wow, that means that we don't have to just keep the Beast Warriors in this place. Think of all the places we could take them."

She nodded again, but this time without a smile. "Ya, I can think of it." She spread out her hands as if she was reading a newspaper headline. "Midget Kids Attack Ice Cream Store! Gallons Still Missing!"

I grabbed my pillow and bopped her with it. "I know how you feel, but it's going to get hard to keep them entertained in this place too much longer. We can only keep cats and dogs out of their evil little pincers for so long. But one of these times they will get tired of them and try to have some fun with them. I don't think Shasta will like that very much."

She sighed. "I know, but I don't want to be the one to take them out for the first time. I will go after they learn about reality."

I smiled. "Okay. I have to go out today and get some new lip balm anyways. So, I will take a couple with me and you can watch the others here. Is that all right by you?"

"Ya, that sounds pretty good to me."

I stood up and opened my closet door. Grabbing out a pair of light brown shorts and a light and dark green, parallel shirt, I walked over to the door and when I opened it, several Transformers fell onto their heads. I lightly walked over them and headed towards the bathroom. Through the door, I could hear them bugging Andrea.

"Hey Ms. Jones, can we see in the bag yet? Yess?"

"Are you sure dat dere is no cheese in dere?"

"Wazzpinator want to zeeee!"

"Yes, be an honorable and noble girl and let us see."

"No, get back! We have to wait for Brit..,er…I mean SBert."

I quickly finished getting dressed and I stepped out, but what I saw did not please me. Dinobot was in his beast mode and was holding Andrea up by one of her ankles. He was reaching with his other hand for the bag. "DINOBOT!"

He looked at me and suddenly dropped her on her head. "Ooph!" My eyes turned into little slits and they shot dark and evil daggers at him. "YOU are NOT allowed to GRAB or DUMP ANDREA!"

While I was still giving Dinobot the stare down of his life, Andrea picked herself up and edged closer to me. I finally broke eye contact and faced her. "Are you okay?"

She nodded and looked over at Dinobot, we both pretty much had the same thought. HE would get to be the first one to try out our new remote. I turned towards him and smiled. "You want to know what is in the bag?"

Megatron, Waspinator, Rattrap, and Cheetor all shook their heads 'No', but Dinobot didn't see them and so he stood defiantly all alone. "Yes, I would Ms. SBert. As I was explaining to Ms. Jones there is no reason, that I can see, who we cannot know."

"Oh, don't worry we'll let you know. Now Waspinator and Cheetor!"

"What I didn't do anything. It wasn't my idea to hand her upside down."

"I know, Cheetor, I just want you and Waspinator to go fetch the others. We are going to show everybody now what is in it."

"Wazzpinator listen to Lady ZzBert. Wazzpinator go get more beazzt botzz." He zoomed out of the room at top speed. (Actual Fact II: He tried to get out, but he hit several walls along the way. Also it didn't help that Rattrap and Dinobot had tied a string to one of his legs. So, for a few moments he just flew around in circles.)

Cheetor left, in beast mode, at top speed. (I think he ran over Waspinator at one point also.) I pointed at the other to sit down in the living room. Megatron shoved Rattrap aside and stole the seat that he was going to take. It wasn't long before the others also come in and sat down. I paced back and forth in front of them.

"AnJ, would you like to show them what is in the bag?"

She stood up from her spot (She had been sitting next to Optimus on the couch.) and reached into the bag that she had been protecting so diligently, but when she pulled out the remote there was a great bellow of laughter.

"Dat is your secret?"

"Well, that;s prime."

"A TV remote? Yesss."

"I hung you upside down, because of an electronical remote?"

"Oh, that's a great invention, but I'm sorry to say that it's already been invented."

"Wazzpinator not zzure is Wazzpinator zzhould laugh or not."

"You mean that you called me in for this?"

"What? Are you sad that I didn't get to finish kicking you around outside?"

"For the ROYALTY!"

"You mean I got my tail stepped on outside of your door for this?"

"Hey AnJ, toss it over here." I raised my arms to catch it. I then pointed it at Dinobot and pushed the button. A weird yellow-green light flashed and in Dinobot's place was a thigh-high midget. When he saw what had happened to him, he tried to tackle me and get the remote. (Actual Fact III: He jumped at me, but I side stepped him and jumped up onto the couch. He on the other hand ran into the bottom of the couch and fell down onto the floor.)

All of the other Beast Warriors had a look of horror on their faces. They looked at me and then at each other, then they tried to make a break for it. They however, were too slow for my hand, I have the fastest hand in the whole whimsy world. Before too long the whole room was filled with thigh-high munchkins, which Andrea and I had a great time laughing at them. It was really fun, sitting on the top of the couch and them not being able to get to you. Optimus came up to the couch and looked up at us sitting there.

"Ms. SBert?"

"Yes?"

"Um…would you mind leaning over a bit? All I can see is legs."

I leaned over and stared at him. "Is there something I can do for you, Optimus?"

"Yes, you can turn us back. Why did you turn us like this? Did someone do something that you disliked?"

I just laughed. "You guys have all been a bit of a pain, but I did this because we need you short for at least today."

There was a squeal beside me, I looked over just in time to see Andrea fall off/ The midgets found this as the opportunity that they needed. "GET HER!" Someone yelled and suddenly there was a pile of midgets flying everywhere. Looking around for the culprit, it seemed that Tarantulas finally remembered that his beast mode was a spider and that spiders could climb up walls. So he had climbed up on the couch and sat down beside Andrea. Andrea, who dislikes spiders with a passion, must have fell off when she saw him so close. I jumped off the couch and started tossing midgets every which way, until I finally found her at the bottom laughing her head off.

I pulled her up and have her an odd look. "Are you alright, AnJ?"

She stopped laughing and just nodded her head 'yes'. All of the transformers gathered around our legs and started whining like a bunch of spoiled kids.

"Why did you do this?"

"Why do we need to be short?"

"I don't like being short!"

"Please, change me back! I'll be really good."

"Wazzpinator don't like being zzhort!"

"Well, this is just prime."

I lifted my hands for silence. When they finally stopped whining enough for me to be heard, I walked back and forth in front of them, like how a General does in front of his troops. "Since Rampage ate my lip balm." I shot him an evil glare.

He squirmed, because now he knew that I could do something really evil to him.

"I need to go to the store and get another. So, Andrea and I are going to split you guys up. We don't want you to kill each other or us so badly. That is why we needed you short. Also, so you don't attract people at the store and so, if need be, Andrea has an easier time beating you if you're bad."

Oh my, did this stir up some questions.

"Can I go?"

"I want to go!"

"Were will we be going?"

"Do they have zzugar there?"

"Sugar? I want cheese!"

Once again, I held up my hands for silence, but this time I didn't get it. So u decided to settle it with volume. "BE QUIET!"

This made them all get quite very fast, even Andrea jumped. I looked at them all until they all started to squirm. "Okay, we, as in Andrea and I, are going to take turns picking who we want to be with us. Okay?"

Several of them gave their heads a nod, I stood up a little straighter. "okay, AnJ, do you want to start us off? Remember whoever is picked by her is staying and whoever I pick is going. But you all have to be good or you will meet even more unpleasant things that we have been equipped with."

Several more nodded, but I knew that the last one wasn't going to be obeyed. (I hope they like soft fuzzy things and hopefully Tarantulas will stay awake this time.) Andrea sidestepped over to me and made a look of concentration. She was doing a pretty good face of not being sure which one to choose. "Hmmm…who do I want?" She thought about it a little more and then stuck out her finger.

Cheetor's face was slightly downcast. "Why me?"

She leaned forward and smiled at him. "Because you are not as much of a troublemaker."

His face lit up. "I can go out and stick a dogs tail in the light socket."

Andrea and I just shook our heads side to side.

 _Which one do I want? I could take Rampage, but he might try to eat someone's shoes or something. Hmm…What one should I take? Maybe I will be nice to AnJ and get one of the bugs away from her._

"I'll take Tarantulas."

Oh boy, did he jump and then he did some sort of dance. It looked amazing, like Steve Urkle's little dance. I wonder where on earth he saw that? He then danced over to me and sat down by my feet. I looked over at Andrea and did a little grimace.

"You owe me one for taking the spider with me."

She gave me a smile and a thumbs up, she then started pacing in front of them. (I'm telling you, I'm starting to rub off onto this girl. My sister, Sam, says "Poor girl. I wonder what her parents will say about that.")

After a few moments, she finally pointed at Rampage. "Aww! Who do I have to stay?"

"Because we don't need you eating someone's pet or tires."

"But I just want to have fun!"

"Fun as in hurting someone. You can just stay here with me."

He turned into his tank for and rolled over to Cheetor, who was sulking by the couch. She waved her hand to tell me that it was my turn.

 _Thank you, AnJ! I will also be nice back and not make you get stuck with his arch enemy._

I pointed my finger over to Depth Charge. Who, like Tarantulas, started dancing, but his consisted of singing. Something like "I get to go, but crab legs don't. I get to go, but crab legs don't." It went on until Rampage tackled him and they started rolling around on the floor. I just rolled my eyes and ignored them, then I made a sweeping gesture to Andrea

All the ones that got chosen to go was very happy and did some sort of dances. All the ones chosen to stay were slightly upset, especially Inferno. His "Queen" had been chosen to go with me. I then shuffled Tarantulas, Depth Charge (after I peeled Rampage off of him.), Rattrap, Waspinator, and Megatron. (I only had him, because he was the last one to be picked. I think he took that as a slight insult.)

(Actual Fact IV: He started yelling and pouting, because he was the last one picked. He stopped when I told him that HASBRO sent me a nice toilet plunger for him.)

I got them all shuffled beside the silver van that we had. I think that I will call it The Hoary. Before I started getting everybody in his seats though, Andrea came running out to me.

"Hey, SBert, you forgot your permit!"

"Oh thanks! It would have been really bad if I was caught without my permit."

Her eyes got wide. "You will be in trouble if you get caught with only a permit!"

I shrugged. "I know, but I think that I will do okay. That is if they," I pointed my finger in the midgets direction. "don't do something really stupid or something." Tarantulas just started doing his Urkle dance. Rattrap started whistling and Depth Charge gave me a bizarre smile.

I turned back to Andrea. "I'm not sure how The Hoary will look after today, but pray that I don't have a concussion or fracture." She gave me another thumbs up and spun around towards the house.

I looked over at the windows by the front door. In it was a row of five little faces peeking through the window. Cheetor, Rampage, Dinobot, Optimus, and Inferno were chosen to stay. I was a little surprised when Andrea chose Inferno.

When I commented on it, she said. "I think we both know what might happen if he gets loose in a grocery store. Also, what would happen if you guys go past matches or candles." I don't believe that, even if I wanted to take him, I could have won against that argument. So now we are at The Hoary, about to assign seats.

"Okay! Back row, Megatron and Waspinator. Middle seats, Depth Charge and Rattrap. And I want Tarantulas up in the front seat, so I can keep an eye on him. But before you start getting in, I must make it were people won't notice that you a bunch of metal midgets."

I pulled out the SDR (Shrinky Dink Remote) and gave them all a blast like that poor frog got. They didn't change looks, from my point of view at least, but with any luck they will look different to other people. If not, then the store will become empty very fast. They then started pushing each other, trying to get in The Hoary first, I on the other hand strolled over to the driver door and climbed in. It took a few moments to get them all situated, but I finally got them quieted down enough to tell them how a seat buckle worked.

"Eeeewww! What'zz that?" Called out Waspinator from the back.

I sighed ad started again. "That is another thing that we like to call road kill."

"Oh! But that one looked different."

I could tell him the sound of his voice, that I was going to have a hard time getting through to him. So far, he has already discovered two skunks, an opossum, three armadillos, and something that even I wasn't able to figure out. He still wasn't figuring out that when I called them road kill, that I meant that it was a dead animal on the road. He thought however that it was its own kind of animal all together. I sighed again. "That one was a raccoon."

I heard a sound of confused buzzing. "But ZzBert juzzt zzaid to Wazzpinator, that it wazz road kill?"

I gripped the steering wheel harder. "I know that I did, but it was also a raccoon at one point." I heard confused buzzing again, but he didn't say anything more.

We actually made it all the way to the store with no incident whatsoever. Weird! I pulled into the parking lot and parked The Hoary as close to the door as I could. I knew that the terror was about to being.

"Okay, who wants to have some fun?" Andrea clapped her hands and said it in the cheeriest voice that she could muster. Though, it didn't look like it would be enough, to get them out of their funk. They all just lay around whining and pouting silently, but at least they were being good for the time being. Rampage had transformed and crawled under the couch. Cheetor sat on the couch above him and swung his tail back and forth. He did that until Rampage caught it and started pulling him off. Dinobot and Optimus both laid on the floor and made themselves look dead.

 _If they don't move soon, then I will have to check on them and if they are dead what would I tell Brit. That I killed the guys by letting them lay down on the carpet. What would she say to that. She can be mean and grouchy at them sometimes (All the time.), but it is just because they are so rowdy. If they wouldn't always get into things and destroy stuff, then she would be really sweet to them. She really likes them and she would love to be great friends with them, but I don't think that she imagined they would be so child-like when she first agreed to do this. Even though it had only been a week, she has learned (through many unfortunate events) that you have to be real strict with them._

She looked back at them. Two laid on the floor, one under the couch, one on the couch, and one (Inferno) sat gazing out the window, in search of this "Queen".He also did a soft call for him, but it was so quiet that she barely heard it. She needed to find something to make them happy or when the others got home, they would be really hyper. She thought it over a bit and if it was a cartoon, you would have seen a little light bulb click on above her head. She clapped her hands together again.

"Okay. I have an idea! We will do make believe."

At that Optimus and Dinobot lifted their heads slightly. She heard a very low mumble that sounded like. "She has lost it just like Ms. SBert."

She waggled her finger at Dinobot. "Now now! I'm not that crazy yet." She grabbed Dinobot by his tail and started to drag him towards the kitchen to the other living room on the other side.

The others picked themselves off of their spots of oozing and followed her. She pulled him into the smaller living room and let go. Running off to SBert's room, they heard her _BANG! Clump!_ and _Ruffle, ruffle!_ They looked at one another and shrugged their shoulders. She then emerged with a fist full of paper, a pen, and an envelope. Writing on the paper, she placed and sealed it within the envelope.

Holding it under Rampages nose, she ordered. "Go take this to the mailbox!"

He gave her a funny look. "Why should I?"

"Because if you don't, then I'm going to let you hold a nice, fuzzy, squishy panda. K?" He did a gulp and nodded. He grabbed the letter and left.

It took a while for him to return, but when he did he was kind of rumpled looking. "What is with that mailbox of SBert's?! It's almost as violent as I am!"

Andrea tried not to smile, but she was having a hard time doing that. Everyone else was on the floor laughing. It was a good thing that Depth Charge wasn't here or he would be going really wild.

"Okay. Now I need someone to go back to the mailbox and pick something up for me."

Everyone looked at her like she was nuts or something.

When no one volunteered, she smiles at the one closest. "All right then. Optimus will you go for me, please?"

His eyes had a hint of fear in them, but he bobbed his head and murmured. "Yes, Ms. Jones." He then transformed into his beast mode, with his surfboard, and left. He took a bit longer then Rampage, but he arrived in better shape. He was carrying a total of six packages on his board.

Andrea went over to the stack and ripped open one. Inside was a gun (plastic), a box of ammunition (paintballs), goggles (shiny, glittery purple), and a full body padding (with puppy paw prints on it). She loaded up her gun and slipped the body pad over her clothes. Putting the goggles on her head, she motioned for them to do the same.

HASBRO had sent a special set for each one of them. Optimus acquired one with bananas on it and a pair of matching yellow goggles. Inferno obtained (yes) a pair of red fire one with fire red goggles. Rampage got a black pair of padding and goggles. Dinobot received a camouflage suit and goggles. And Cheetor got a white suit with gray cheetah patterns and gray/white goggles. Andrea looked them all over and nodded her head in satisfaction while leading them out the door.

Pilling on the front lawn, they all immediately started pointing their guns at each other. Andrea stepped in from of them before they could start.

"You haven't heard the rules yet." Came a deep, growly sounding voice.

They all stared at Andrea with slightly worried eyes. They had never had her stay with them for too terribly long, so they weren't sure as to how much she would get mad or what was her limits. For all they knew, she was as bad or worse than SBert.

Andrea took the silence as that they were paying attention now. "Alright, me and one other will be the chosen leaders. Then we will choose our troops and have twenty minutes to find a base. Any question?"

"Yes, who gets to be the other team leader?" This was from Dinobot, who seemed very annoyed at being given orders from a teenage, human, girl wearing a pair of puppy paw clothes.

Ignoring the tone of the voice he said it in, she said. "Hm…I think that I will choose…Inferno."

He jumped with surprise. "I get to lead the colony?" Andrea nodded her head. "But I am not the royalty?"

She walked over to him and bent down closer. "We are just going to pretend that you are the royalty for a while. Okay?"

It took him a while to consider what she has said, but he finally agreed to do it. They then had to pick their played and set up base.

Andrea ended up with Optimus and Cheetor and Inferno got Dinobot and Rampage. _Ha! Just watch them try and take orders from a deranged bug!_

They then split up to find bases. Andrea made it quite clear though, that if any paint landed on the house then they would be washing it and it had to be done before SBert made it home. All the while warding off the opposing team.

Andrea and her team made their way over towards the kennel. She opened the door to a bunch of yipping sounds. Cheetor and Optimus covered their ears at the sound. These dogs were not SBert''s, they belonged to her Dad. (Who wasn't in the mysterious, parallel dimension, but for some reason all the animals came along.)

She smiled. "Ya! This will work just fine." Turning to face the pair of transformers. "We will only come back here if we are losing and need cover. Got it?" They nodded.

"NO! DON'T TOUCH THAT!" Crash! "RATTRAP! I SAID NO!"

As soon as we made it into the store, which was just fine. (Actual Fact V: Ya, right! It was an adventure in of itself. Five little kids weaving around cars and getting into the road is not wat I call fun. I don't want to know what those people will say when they find that there is some sort of shiny, blue webbing holding their cars together. I also don't want to know wat will happen when those other people figure out about the singe marks on their cars.)

After I had gotten them into the store and past the candy. We slowly, with much trouble, made our way to the cosmetic isle. Of course, like always with little kids, they have an urge to touch things that have a sign that says, "Do Not Touch". The bad thing about this store is that they put the glass dishes right across from the cosmetics and being just like the little rat he is, Rattrap had to touch the ones that was in the shape of a chunk of cheese.

I was starting to wish that I had gotten a shopping cart and shoved them all in. I quickly ushered them into the makeup isle and out of the way. That was also a mistake though. Never take a bunch of munchkin transformers into a makeup isle, when they are in a curious mood.

"What's that?"

"What's it mean by 'It will reverse your age'?"

"So, what do you really look like?"

"Doezz Mzz. ZzBert need thizz zztuff?"

"Why would she need dat type of stuff, Bug Breath? Have you ever seen her wear blue and red stuff on her face?"

"What does it say?"

"Hmm? Oh! Do you mean 'Glimmering Moonlight Special'?"

"Yess."

It took a while to get to the lip gloss and lip balm section, because of this and other 'incidences'. But when we finally got there, I realized that it might take some time to find one. It wasn't that there wasn't a selection. Oh no, there was too much of a selection. I hadn't realized this, because I had always got Mom to pick it up for me or Andrea would give me some as presents. I had never seen what there was for myself. To tell you the truth, it was kind of scary. It took up a whole isle and they has some of the oddest flavors, but I didn't mind that as much as all the new questions that I had to listen too.

"Ooo, get this one!"

"Wazzpinator, thinkzz that Mzz Zzbert zzhould get thizz one."

"What does T-O-O-T-I-E F-R-U-I-T-Y spell?"

"Do they have cheese flavored ones?"

"Wazzpinator wantzz the zzugar flavored one, Lady Zzbert."

"No!"

"Wazzpinator wants to know why?"

"How often do you see a machine needing lip balm, Waspy?"

"Yess, but we still want some. How does 'Shimmering Glory' sounds, yess?"

"Bad!"

"How about a caramel flavored one?"

"No."

It went on like that for quite some time, until I grabbed myself a plain mint and declared that we were done and it was time to leave. (Actual Fact VI: I grabbed up their whole box of mint lip balm and started kicking them down the aisle, as far away from the shiny lip gloss and balm as I could.)

 _Come on! Nice and slow!_

Slowly, Andrea and her gang of paintballers made their way across the grounds towards the enemy's base. Which was a pike of logs that was lying around and stacked up, beside the lane.

 _I just hope that they don't hear us. I know Cheetor won't have any problems, but what about Prime and I? With any hope, Inferno has given all of his men a big headache and they aren't thinking straight._

She crept slowly behind a tree and peered around it. From the spot that she was at, she could see that her crew was in their positions. She did a slow nod. The signal that they needed to be extra careful from now on. Even from where they sat they could hear the enemy arguing.

"I am the pretend royalty, so you must obey me."

"And why should we obey such an inferior animal?"

"And give me one reason why I shouldn't just attach you and claim rule for myself?"

"…"

"I thought so, but still Ms. Jones might have something to say if we pop up without our so called appointed leader."

"I am the fake royalty and I command you to search the area for enemy attack. If you do not then you shall buuurrn for the fantasized colony."

"Should we just, honorably of course, smash him and tell our enemies leader that he met with something unexplainable?"

"I don't care if it is honorably or not. I think that we should get rid of this brain fried ant."

 _Boy, those guys are really going at it. I think that when HASBRO gave us this job, that they didn't want them killing each other. I just hope that the guys are in their places by now, because it's about time to intervene._

Getting through the checkout aisle was the worst by far. The think was that you had to keep five little, metal maniacs from leaving the isle and from sneaking things onto the conveyer belt. I finally gave in though and said that they could each have one piece of candy. That got their attention and distracted them for a few minutes, but it didn't help that this aisle also contained small toys. I had to pry a pair of handcuffs away from Depth Charge, who kept claiming that he needed them. Rattrap nearly fainted when he saw the catnip filled mouse sitting there. He wanted it at first, but tossed it aside very quickly when I told him what it was for. The only trouble that I had with Waspinator was that he wanted one of every kind of candy that they had.

Finally, Waspinator settled for a pack of M&M's, Depth Charge got Air Heads, Megatron a pack of Mini Peppermint Patties, I told Rattrap he could have one of the cheese sticks besides candy, and Tarantulas picked out a Ring Pop. His got a few stares from us, but we didn't say anything.

Finally making it too the counter, the lady there gave us an odd look. She handed each one of the 'kids' their candy and asked me if I wanted the one box of lip balm bagged.

After we had gotten out of the store, it was once again lots of 'fun' getting back through the parking lot. "TARANTULAS LEAVE THAT CAR ALONE! GET OUT OF THE ROAD DEPTH CHARGE! WASPINATOR, WAIT UNTIL WE GET TO THE CAR TO OPEN THOSE! MEGATRON GET BACK ON THE GROUND! RATTRAP…"

He looked at me shakily. "What did I do?"

Looking down at him, he was the only one stat was still beside me. "Ooops, sorry. I was just use to yelling at you too."

We made it the car with only a few more mishaps occurring. I then made them all sit in their pre-arranged seats.

 _Finally, we are free! Next time I will just ask AnJ if she will pick some up for me on the way over. I wonder what is happening to her. I had just better not find her tied to a stake or something. They will all get locked in my sister's room as punishment._

(My sisters room is one of the few rooms that I'm even scared to go in. My older sister, Sam, has the place covered in pink and lacy things. While my just younger sister, Rachel, has poodles and snow globes decoration the place.)

The ride wasn't half as bad as it was the first time around. This time Waspinator was too busy eating his candy and trying to steal everybody else's to look at the road kill. Tarantulas was happily eating his ring and calling it "My Precious" to be of any trouble. So, all in all it was a peaceful ride home.

"Ha ha! I got you!"

"Do not spare them!"

"Take that you ugly crab!"

"For the colony! You will all BURN!"

"You will n…what?"

"What's that?"

HONK HONK!

"AAAAHHHH!"

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

"BURN MECHANICAL MONSTER FOR THE ROYALTY AND THE COLONY! BUUUURRNNN!"

HHHOOOONNNKK! HOOOONNNKKK! HOOOONNNKK!

"RETREAT MAXIMALS AND PREDICONS, WE SHALL FINISH OUR BATTLE IN THE SAFETY COMFORT OF THE FRONT YARD!"

Somehow The Hoary made it into its parking spot without hitting anyone. All the Beast Warriors piled out of the car as fast as they could and started hugging trees and kissing the ground for all they were worth.

I looked over at Andrea and her group. They were laying in the middle of the yard panting, I slowly wandered over to them. Andrea was laying on her back, staring up at the sky, and oblivious to the world. Rampage was laying on top of Cheetor. Dinobot and Optimus looked like they had just finished a two-mile race.

"Sorry, I wasn't expecting for you to be playing in the lane. I was busy trying to keep Waspinator off of Megatron's mints and I didn't see you until it was too late. Are you guys okay?"

Andrea slowly sat up and grabbed my arm for support. (She left a mixed paint handprint on me.) I looked her over more closely than I had before, she was wearing a purple, glittery, dog print suit, that had paint all over it. The others had about the same coat of paint as she did, but they also seemed to have dent marks too.

I raised my eyebrows at Andrea. "Do I even want to know what happened?"

Smiling, she mouthed out of breath. "No, you probably don't want to know."

Behind us we could hear the Beast Warriors reuniting.

"My Queen!"

"Mzz. ZzBert got Wazzpinator zzome chocolate!"

"Chocolate smocolate, I got Cheese!"

"I got to shoot Ms. Jones!"

"Shoot her?"

"Don't worry everything was prime. It was just a paint gun."

"Paint…hmmm? Sounds like it might be fun, yess."

"My Precious!"

"…"

"I got to tackle Ms. Jones."

"Did you hurt her? If you did, then I'm sure that I can get permission from SBert to hurt you."

Andrea and I wandered over to the front steps and collapsed on them. We looked at each other and smiles. For another day was done and we had somehow survived it.

With the way that we were going, we would be immune to anything that they could throw at us very soon.

We never did ask each other what happened to each other either. Somehow, we knew that we didn't want to know about that mysterious pink min pin dog or why Tarantulas was carrying a ring pop around everywhere. Maybe one of these days, the world will figure out these weird mysteries and correct them. But for me, I just want to live until the next day and I don't care what happens in between.


End file.
